


The Fragrance That The Violet Sheds

by Hedwig_Dordt



Series: The Fragrance [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-10 12:06:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hedwig_Dordt/pseuds/Hedwig_Dordt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper breaks up with Tony, only to find herself falling for another dark haired genius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Called A Break-up Because It's Broken

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to assume that Killian does not succeed in killing Maya, because I loved her so damn much, and I loved her chemistry with Pepper.
> 
> First attempt at fem slash. With deepest gratitude to Fightyourdragon, for beta reading, cheerleading, and US-picking (believe me, it's a thing). Remaining problems are my fault.
> 
> Standard disclaimers: no money, not canon, just fun.

“Pepper! I’m home!” Tony yells as he comes in. They had a house rebuilt over the ruins of the last Stark Mansion. Walking into his new home still brings a smile to his face: the current version fits his needs even better than the last one. “Why are there suitcases in the hallway? Pepper? Are we going on holiday? You didn’t tell me we’re going on a holiday. I’m sure I’d remember us planning a holiday.”

“No, we’re not leaving on a holiday,” Pepper says quietly. “We are not going anywhere anymore. I’m leaving. You, I mean.”

Tony takes a step back as if she punched him. He swallows. “You can’t... You can’t leave, you’re everything.”

“I can. And I’m doing it right now.” Pepper takes up the suitcases and walks out the door. Tony follows her outside. “But why? Why are you leaving? What happened? Is there someone else?”

Pepper opens the trunk of her favourite car, and puts in her suitcases. Because the same things keep happening, she thinks, they happen over and over and over again, you can’t help it, you’re a selfish bastard and I can’t change it and it will only get worse because every time I feel more bitter about it, but what comes out instead is the same old bubble of frustration: “Because everything, absolutely everything, is always about you.” She knows she probably shouldn’t shout, but she is so done having the same stupid arguments over and over and over again. “You hide in you workshop all day long, you make me run everything, and when I do all you do is complain. Well you know what? I quit. I quit running your life. I quit being your housekeeper. I quit this. It’s game over. I have better things to do then pick up the pieces after your behind.”  
Tony looks striken. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to make her stay. What comes out instead only makes things worse: “You… you can’t leave me. I need you.”

“I can and I will. Because at this point being on my own is preferable to being with you. Everything else is And nothing is ever for me. I’m... empty. I have nothing left to give. I’m sorry.” She takes the keys out of her purse. “There is no one else. How could there be? You took all I have to give.”

“But I gave you everything I had...” Tony protests.

“Yet you gave me nothing I needed.” Pepper gets in and starts the engine, drowning out his further protests. There are tears streaming over her cheeks, for herself and for Tony, but she drives off. “Telephone, call Natasha.”

“Calling na-ta-sha”, the automatic voice replies.

Thankfully, Natascha picks up almost immediately. "Natasha Romanov."

"Hey, it's Pepper. Can we talk?"

"Just a second."

Pepper hears rustling on the other side of the line, and then a door closing.

"Okay. What did he do?"

“He didn’t do anything. I... I broke up with him."

"Good. I mean I'm sorry to hear that. Should I be sorry? What happened?"

"It's… I just realised I enjoyed being alone more than I did being with him. So I broke things off."

"Shit. That's very brave of you. Do you need a place to stay?"

"No, I have a place. I just needed to talk to someone."

"Okay. Don’t move, I’m coming over. Where are you staying?"

“I’m moving already. I’m going to the cottage.”

“Are you safe to drive?”

“Yes. I’m a bit shaky, but I can drive.”

“Okay, I’m coming over. I still have the key. See you in a bit.”

“Thanks.” she says, but Natascha has already hung up the phone.

When Pepper arrives at the cottage, Natascha isn’t there. She carries her suitcases to the bedroom, takes off her clothes and puts on her pyjamas. Then she goes to the kitchen to make tea. As the water is boiling, she hears the rustling of keys. “Natascha, is that you?" “I come bearing gifts.” She is carrying two bags: one holding milk, her favourite tea, a box of cereals and a melon, another with two bottles of red wine, some chocolate and three boxes of tissues. Natasha puts down the bags and envelops Pepper in a hug. “I assumed you’d be needing this,” she says, nodding at the bags. “You’re a godsend,” Pepper replies. She attempts to smile, but she starts to cry again instead. “I’m sorry,” she manages between sobs, “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I’m not even the one you should be comforting. I’m the one who broke up with him, for god’s sake.” “Shhh”, Natascha hushes while stroking her back, “Break-ups hurt, dear. Even when you’re the one doing the breaking up.” She lets Pepper go when she seems calmed down a bit. “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll see to the tea.”

Four days later Pepper is back behind her desk, holding an envelope addressed to her. Security has checked it for the better-known biohazards. It seems to hold only a letter from Maya Hansen. Pepper’s stomach jolts with both dread and anticipation as she opens the envelope and reads.

Dear Ms. Potts,  
I will never be able express how deeply I regret what the results of my research have turned out to be. For that, I am deeply deeply sorry.

Killian didn’t kill me that day, but my research almost killed you. Yet your kind words have given me the strength to carry on teaching my students, and raising my son. This feels like a cosmic joke, yet here it is.

And all I can say is “Thank you”. Thank you for being there when I needed you.  
Yours truly,  
Dr. Maya Hansen

Pepper takes a deep breath and picks up her phone. “Sara, could you find contact info for a Maya Hansen for me? That’s Hansen with one -s-.”

“Of course. Give me a minute, I’ll put it in an email for you.”

True to form, Sara finds her the contact information without asking questions. Pepper’s thoughts return to their spectacular escape together. She knows why she immediately took a shine to dark haired and brilliant Maya: she has a type and she knows it.

To: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
From: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
Subject: Extremis research continuation  
Dear Dr. Hansen, dear Maya,  
Your letter arrived today. Thank you. Rest assured, I bear you no ill will. I hope you’re well, and your son too. Our spectacular night on the run remains a cherished memory and I stand by what I said.  
Tony saw that you’re a very good scientist, and in spite of our current difficulties I trust his judgement on that front. I keep thinking about our conversation at the hotel. I keep thinking you deserve the chance to make some things right. So, as the CEO of Stark Industries I’d like to invite you to write a proposal for continuing your research on Extremis. Because I feel that it deserves the final touches you thought you could make now that you have the formula.  
I hope to hear from you soon,  
Yours truly,  
Pepper Potts

Then she sets back to work, and tries not to think about long dark hair and darker-than-hazel eyes. She turns off her email program in order to stop herself from checking for replies every other minute. A good hour later she turns it on again, to check the location of a meeting.

To: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
From: M.Hansen @ research.aim. com  
Subject: Re: Extremis research continuation  
Dear Ms. Potts, dear Pepper,  
Please, feel free to call me Maya. We’ve been through enough together, I’d say. Both my son and I are very well, thank you. He is in high school, a little ahead of his age group, but he seems to be enjoying himself. 

Thank you for the invitation. I really appreciate it. Could you give me some of the range points? What are you looking for in the proposal? I prefer to know what my audience is looking for.

I hesitate to ask, but I understand from the papers that you and Tony are no longer together. How are you doing?  
Warm regards,  
Maya Hansen

Reading the email, Pepper is relieved to see that Maya is not averse to her proposal. She decides to call Natasha to check if her initial response is correct.  
“Natasha Romanov.”

“Hey, it’s Pepper. Are you free?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Pepper smiles, knowing that from Natasha that could mean anything from being in the office or having an ice cream in the park to being strategically captured in an Eastern European country. “Maya replied.”

“And?”

“I think she wants to do it.”

“Oh, that’s good. Make sure to thank her for her cooperation.”

“Hey, I’m not S.H.I.E.L.D. Should I invite her to dinner?

“Depends on what you want.”

“Are you going to be all Russian-practical about this?”

“Yes. Is that going to be a problem?”

“No. I guess I will call her then. Thank you. Are we still on for working out tonight?”

“As far as I’m concerned we are. No major crisis?”

“Nothing. See you tonight. And thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

With that Pepper hangs up, gets herself a fresh cup of coffee and starts drafting a reply. Some things you don’t have your secretary do, she tells herself.

To: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
From: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
Subject: Re: Extremis research continuation  
Dear Maya,  
Call me Pepper. It’s what my friends call me after all. I’m glad to hear you’re both well. And I am very happy to hear you’d be willing to continue your research into Extremis.

Would you prefer to go over the proposal requirements over coffee? Or dinner, if you can manage that with a baby sitter? Any dietary restrictions?  
Warm regards,  
Pepper Potts

To: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
From: M.Hansen @ research.aim. com  
Subject: Re: Extremis research continuation  
Dear Pepper,  
I called my baby sitter. How is Thursday for dinner?

I like seafood, and I have no allergies.  
Cheers,  
Maya

 

Pepper calls her secretary. “Sara, do I have any engagements Thursday?”

“You’ve planned dinner... no, strike that.”

“What? Do I have plans for Thursday or not?”

“No, you had your regular dinner planned with Tony. But I assume you’re not going.”

Pepper purses her lips. “No I’m not. But I am having dinner. Do I have a reservation that I need to cancel?”

“No, not yet. Would you like me to make one?”

“Please. Preferably seafood. For two, about eight o’clock, under the name of Hansen. And let me know where. Nothing too expensive, and avoid Tony’s regular hang-outs, I still don’t want to see him.”

“His calls are more and more infrequent, ma’am,” her secretary supplies.

“Thank you,” she says before hanging up.

Later that day, her secretary calls her back: “Madam, I’ve booked you at the Crow’s Nest, eight o’clock. Too cheap for Tony’s taste, but decent food, from the reviews. I’ve put the details in your private agenda.”  
“Thanks. Keep my schedule clean on Thursday after three, please.”

“Yes, madam."

To: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
From: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
Subject: Re: Extremis research continuation  
Dear Maya,  
We have a reservation under your name -for privacy reasons- for Thursday at eight at the Crow’s Nest.

I look forward to seeing you again,  
Pepper

At five in the afternoon, Pepper turns off her computer and leaves her office to instruct her secretary: “I’m turning my work phone off. In absolute building-on-fire-emergencies, you can call my personal cell phone, after you’ve called the fire fighters.”

“Yes, madam. See you tomorrow. Have a pleasant evening.”

“You too. Don’t work too late.”

“Thank you.”

 

Back at the cottage -she refuses to call it home- she takes a shower, makes herself a mug of tea and tries to decide what to wear. No dress, not a working suit. After some hesitation, she puts on a pair of jeans, and a green silk blouse. Heels, after some consideration. She fixes her make-up. She tries to watch television until it’s approximately time to leave. She hesitates over which car she wants to take, and ends up with the iQ. She drives to the restaurant, and parks the car. When she arrives it’s 7:45, still a bit early. With a huff, she gets out of the car and walks over to the restaurant.

“Good evening, madam, how can I help you?” the host asks her.

“There’s a reservation under Hansen.”

The host checks the booking system. “Of course, follow me, please.” He brings her to her table. “Michael will be your server tonight. He will be right over.”

A few seconds later, her server arrives: “Good evening madam, I’m Michael and I will be taking care of you this evening. Would you like a drink?”

“Tonic please. With ice and lemon.”

“Right away. Would you like to see the menu or would you prefer to wait?"

“I’ll wait, please.”

The server nods and goes to the bar to lay in her order. She catches him staring at her. Defiantly, she plays Tetris on her phone.

At five past eight, Maya rushes in. When the server brings her to the table, Maya starts with an apology. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I hate being late.”

“You’re here now, that’s what matters.” Pepper gets up to hug her. When they let go, Pepper asks, “Drink?”

Their server turns up just in time.

“God, yes.” She turns to him and asks, “A beer please.”

“And the menu,” Pepper adds.

The server gives them a look, nods and turns to do as he’s asked. A few minutes later, he returns with a beer and two menus. Pepper is still trying to get a measure on Maya. “So. Getting to know each other regularly. How did you get involved with AIM in the first place?” she asks.

“When I was in my second year, majoring in biology, I volunteered as a guide at the botanic gardens. The man that trained the guides mentioned at some point that grass that is mown regularly, grows faster. I asked him why and he gave me a word salad reply that meant he had no idea either. So I went to look for myself. That’s how I got involved in the research into the regenerative capacities of plants. I got involved in a research project, focused on figuring out -this sounds so weird out of uni context- figuring out why it is grass grows faster when you mow regularly.”

Pepper laughs. “And?”

“Well, I got to present a poster at a conference. I think Killian was there already, looking for talent to recruit. When I graduated, there was mysteriously money available to continue the research in a PhD program, perfectly tailored to my cv.”

“Weren’t you wary of it?” Pepper asks. “I’m not having a starter, by the way. Those salads look horrid.”

“Wasn’t planning on it either. Just the seafood platter. Now back to your question: what was there to be wary of? I mean, I was a naive, excited young woman. Of course I leapt at the chance.”

“Obviously.”

The server comes by their table. “Can I take your order?”

“The seafood platter, twice, please.” Pepper requests.

“Excellent. Would you like to hear the wine recommendations with that?”

“I’m driving”, Pepper replies, “Would you like some wine?”

“No, I’m by car too,” Maya says.

“Some more water please,” Pepper requests. The waiter nods and returns to the kitchen. “Okay, so you’d found money for PhD research? Then what happened?” Pepper encourages her.

“And when I was wrapping up my PhD, I got a job offer to continue my research with AIM. The rest you know.”

“So how does Tony fit into this story?”

“I had something he wanted, he had something I wanted.”

Pepper starts laughing. “That sounds a horrible innuendo when you say it like that.”

“God no. Nothing like that. It always was about ideas between us.” Maya hesitates for a second before adding: “Though, yes, we have been lovers, and no, he’s not exactly the best lover I ever had.” She shrugs: “Or at least he wasn’t back then. Maybe he got better.”

“He’s okay.”

“Okay? Talk of burying someone with tepid praise!” Maya puts on her most serious sounding Official Voice: “Have you come to bury him with tepid praise?” Pepper finds herself so relieved that they can talk about this, she has a laughing fit. Maya is a little startled to see Pepper, usually so collected, howling with laughter. “I’m sorry,” Maya says uncertainly, “that was a little unprofessional.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Pepper says, wiping a tear from her cheek, before hiccuping again. “It’s been way too long since I’ve laughed like this.” She looks Maya over, as if she sees her in a whole new light. Then their server returns with two plates and the spell is broken.

“So how did you end up at the top of the corporate ladder?” Maya asks.

“Fifty percent skill, and a good dash of luck.” Pepper grins, almost apologetic. “I’ve always had a good head for numbers. So I came across a mistake in an accounting report -a big mistake, mind you- and I chucked it on Tony’s desk. Mind you, I was in the secretary pool at the time.”

Maya makes big eyes. “You didn’t.” She looks at Peppers face. “You did. Oh, I can just see you, pencil skirt and righteous fury.”

“So Tony looked me over, said thank you and offered me a job as his PA."

“And you were a total rock star at that.” Maya looks thoughtfully, as if she’s trying to imagine it. Pepper nods, “Well, he since signed me over the company, keeping only a niche for himself in R&D.”

“It must be weird for you, without him.”

“It is in the company. On the other hand, I’ve been running Stark Industries for a while now, so I know for a fact I’m a better manager than he is. He’s a great engineer and innovator, but that’s a completely different skill set. No matter what he wants you to think, you can’t be good at everything. And personally? It hurt at first, but now, I’m really just so relieved. I have all the time in the world to myself. I can go to the gym, work, sleep and read whenever I like. Well, apart from working obviously. I have so much more time now that I don’t have to count him into everything. I run the bloody company, so what I say goes. Mostly.”

Maya looks at her intently, and then nods. “Do you like mussels?” she asks, “Because I’ll trade them for some of that tuna you’ve been avoiding."

“Oh yes, please.” Pepper starts lumping some of the tuna onto her fork, where it inevitably drops off again. “Have you always been such a non-fussy eater?” she asks when Maya makes no comment on her eating habit whatsoever.

“Right now, I’m mostly delighted to have adult conversation again.” Maya admits, “Don’t get me wrong, I love Elliott, but sometimes it’s nice to speak to another grownup in a way that is not work-related. And have adult food.”

Pepper smiles in acknowledgement. “No boyfriend then?” she asks.

“Not primarily into men.”

“I thought you and Tony...?”

“Mutually beneficial,” Maya says off-handedly. “It wasn’t terrible. And the outcome was better than I expected on both counts.”

Pepper nods. “There’s something to be said for that. Would you still care for a dessert?" she asks.

"Oh yes." Maya beams. “I didn’t finish my vegetables for nothing.”

Pepper starts laughing again.

“I’m sorry, that was silly of me.”

“Are you apologising for making me laugh?” Pepper asks, “Seriously, this is the best time I’ve had in months, don’t mess it up by apologising for getting it right.”

After they finish their dessert, Pepper insists on paying the bill, arguing she’d be able to label it as work expenses.

“We didn’t get any work done."

“We’ll have to schedule a new appointment then.” Pepper smiles. “If you wouldn’t mind."

“Thanks,” Maya says eventually. “Next round is on me.”

“After a private tour of the botanical gardens?” Pepper asks, “That seems the right place to explain how you’d like to further your research.”

"If you’d like.”

“I’d like nothing more.”

“I’ll send you an email with a possibilities for a date.”


	2. The Botany of Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As one relationship is formally dissolved, Pepper figures out the nature of her feelings for another dark haired genius.
> 
> They have an appointment to introduce Pepper to the fascinating world of botany. All very professional of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title shamelessly nicked from Michael Pollan’s interesting book. Contains the nitty-gritty of divorcing-of-sorts, and something that might be construed as a date. 
> 
> Thanks, as always, to Fightyourdragon for beta´ing and US-picking (yes, that’s a thing) and to James for providing me with a sound track. 
> 
> Standard disclaimer: no money, not canon, just fun.

Pepper is in what should be a meeting on the company strategy with the rest of the board, but the conversation has been making the same circle about one possible new customer. She is trying to decide what’s worse: her boredom with the discussion or her anger over the wasted time. Before she gets spitting mad, she makes one more attempt at getting to a point: “Gentlemen, as I see it there are two questions: one, does the order fit our long term strategy? I say it doesn’t. Question two: is this product required for any of our short-term goals? I still haven’t heard any convincing arguments that it is.”

“There’s no arguing with her when she pulls that face,” she hears Jimmy mutter.

“That’s because I spent two fucking hours in this meeting, going over the same stupid question we could have answered two weeks ago. So what are you not telling me?” she almost yells. The men stare at the notepads in front of them. Deep, calming breaths, and think of a happy place, she tells herself, and her mind immediately supplies Maya’s smiling face. She pushes it aside to deal with the situation at hand. 

“Right then. We’re not taking the order. Can we refer them to someone who will?”

“If we refer them to Dassault we can avoid Boeing getting their hand on the R&D involved,” Malek suggests.

“Excellent. Are you telling them that?”

“I will,” Malek says. 

“Thank you, Malek. Now to the next points on the agenda, for which we have about thirty minutes to spare...”

When Sara sees her coming in, she calls the kitchen. "Miss Potts is in, you can finish up." Fifteen minutes later, the cook brings in a bowl of steaming pasta gorgonzola and a green salad.

"Thank you, Tom. That smells divine."

"Don't thank me yet. I've left your dessert with Sara."

"Have I been such a good girl?" she asks grinning

Nobody has to earn good food, miss Potts. Everyone deserves good food."

“Thank you all the same."

"Enjoy your meal, miss." With that, he leaves. She sits down behind the conference table, starts the audio book she was listening to, and digs in. After finishing her meal, she walks out of her office.

“Sara, I think Tom left me dessert." With a grin, Sara hands her a fruit salad and two chocolate truffles. "I assumed you needed this after that meeting."

“You're not wrong."

"That's why you hired me."

"True that."

Pepper eats the first truffle and sets the fruit salad with a fork on her desk. She deserves something nice, she thinks to herself and starts writing an email to Maya.

To: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
From: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
Subject: field research  
Dear Maya,  
Thank you for the wonderful dinner. I had a great time.

If you’re still interested, we could schedule that tour of the botanic garden you mentioned. What would be a good time for you?  
Cheers,  
Pepper

To: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
From: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
Subject: Re: Field research  
Dear Pepper,  
Thank you for remembering this! I had a wonderful time at dinner too. You’re good company.

How is Saturday afternoon for you?  
Cheers,  
Maya

To: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
From: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
Subject: Re: Field research  
Dear Maya,  
Saturday is okay with me. I could pick you up at twelve. Is that okay?

Pepper

To: v.potts @ stark-industries. com  
From: m.hansen @ research.aim. com  
Subject: Re: Field research  
Excellent. Look forward to it.  
Maya

 

It is Saturday morning and Pepper is standing in front of her wardrobe. Why am I worrying about what to wear? Pepper asks herself. It’s not a date, it’s just a visit to the botanical gardens. With Maya. Who is funny and smart and possibly a new friend. God knows I could do with a few more of those. Maya could just show up in a washed-out band shirt and still look good. If I put on the peach coloured starry shirt? She tries it on and checks her reflection. With a sigh she decides it will have to do. After some deliberation, she gets the iQ from the garage, and programs Maya’s address into the navigation system.

 

She arrives at Maya's place a little after twelve. Maya appears in the doorway before she can ring. She is wearing a t-shirt and jeans that show off her subtle curves. Pepper walks over to her, and for a second they both hesitate before enveloping each other in a hug. Pepper catches herself thinking Maya smells delicious.

"Ready to go?" Pepper asks.

"Just need to grab my bag." A second later Maya reappears, checking the contents of a small bag. "Yes, ready to go." Then she spots the car. "Oh, compact, sturdy and yet understatedly sexy. I've always wanted one, but I felt they're kinda out of my league." Pepper's stomach flutters a little at that comment, but she ignores it. "Would you like to drive it then?"

"Will you let me?"

Pepper dangles the keys in front of her. "Take them before I change my mind."

 

Maya drives them smoothly to the botanical garden, where she parks in a staff parking place. She leads the way to the entrance. The young woman in the ticket booth seems in awe of her.

"I'm sorry, are you doctor Hansen?"

"Yes, I am." Maya smiles her best don't-be-afraid-smile. "Are you one of the student volunteers?"

"I am. Your work is amazing!"

"Thank you. Would you mind calling Dr. Lowen for me?"

"Of course not." The girl's hand shake visibly as she dials the number. “Doctor Lowen? This is Sandra in reception. Dr. Hansen is here, asking for you.” She pauses, blushing. “Okay sir, right away.” Sandra hangs up the phone. “Doctor Lowen would like to see you in the restaurant.”

“Thank you”, Maya says. Pepper is already looking for her wallet. “I used to work here, so there’s no fee.” Maya adds, “Come on, let’s go to the restaurant, have the niceties over with so we can have the rest of the afternoon to ourselves.”

In the restaurant there are only two tables occupied, one with a family and the other with one elderly gentleman. They walk over to him.

“Maya! How are you?” He calls out to them.

“Great! How are you?”

“Old and creaky,” He says, smiling and wrapping Maya into a hug. “I would ask who your friend is, but I think I know your face.” He extends his hand. “Bill Lowe. How do you do.”

“Pepper Potts, pleased to meet you.”

“So your Maya’s new friend?”

“I hope so,” Pepper replies. “I’m assuming you’re Maya’s old friend?”

“Oh yes, knew her when she was a bright-eyed young thing.”

“And you still had hair,” Maya adds without venom.

“Right, before this conversation derails completely, can I offer you a drink? Coffee? Tea?” Pepper looks over at Maya, who nods.

“A cup of coffee, please.” Pepper requests.

“Me too.” Maya adds.

Bill waves at the girl the counter, raising three fingers. She smiles back, nods and starts making coffee.

“Pepper, you’ll have to excuse me for a bit. Maya is a former student of mine, so we have to talk shop for a bit.”

“Go ahead.” Pepper slouches a little, and listens into the conversation on how Maya and Bill’s many mutual acquaintances are doing, and what they are publishing. She studies Maya’s face, and the way her shirt falls over her body. The young woman brings them three cups of excellent coffee, and Maya sips it slowly and relaxes to the sound of a conversation that doesn’t require her full attention for a change. She studies Maya’s lips and the way the light catches in her eyes and tries to ignore the flutter in her stomach when Maya looks over at her to check if she’s not bored yet. 

“So, Pepper, are you ready for the tour?” Maya asks eventually.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” 

“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Bill says, “She wasn’t just our our most popular guide because of her good looks. She’s also very good at gauging the audience’s level of understanding. You’ll have a great time.” He gives Maya a hug and shakes Pepper’s hand. “Have a good day.”

“Thanks, Bill. I’ll see what I can do for those samples.” Maya says as she’s preparing to leave.

“Thank you for your warm welcome,” Pepper says.

“Any friend of Maya’s is welcome here.” Bill replies genially, “Now out with you two. The day is too darn good to wither away with an old man.”

Maya leads the way through the gardens, greeting several other members of the staff along the way. “You know what is weird about research?” she says at some point, smelling a flower, “You start out wondering how one small thing works, so you start looking up what we already know, and then you find what we don’t know yet, and you start wondering how we can figure out what we don’t know yet. But whatever you’re studying, the longer you’re involved the less you know.”

“Isn’t that incredibly frustrating?” Pepper asks.

Maya thinks about that for a bit. “I can remember when this realisation hit me for the first time. And I was upset, because all I’d ever wanted was to understand things.”

“Ravenclaw,” Pepper nods, understanding.

“What?”

“You’re a Ravenclaw. Your Hogwarts house.”

“I guess so. They’re the geeks, right?”

“You haven’t read Harry Potter? You haven’t seen Harry Potter? We are so watching the movies. But to get back to your point, you were upset.”

“Oh, right. At first it seemed so frustrating I would never truly and completely understand. But then I realised I could keep doing this forever.”

Pepper looks at Maya’s smile that lights up her face. “You’re going all starry-eyed at the prospect.” Pepper grins. 

Maya changes the topic. “Over there’s the bamboo. Now there’s something I could spend the rest of my life on.”

“I knew I should’ve put on that other shirt. I have one made out of bamboo. Okay, tell me about it.”

 

The bamboo was the starting point to a conversation about the research Maya wanted to do, which eventually led to the question of how they would spend the evening. “So what are you doing for dinner?” Maya asks.

“I have a stack of legal documents and memos I should go over.” Pepper sighs, and checks the time on her phone. “You know what? Let’s have coffee -well, or tea, and then I really have to head home.”

“Is it to do with you know...” Maya waves her hand, “your situation with Tony?”

Pepper nods. “We need, well no, I think I do, we need to set out a set of ground rules to work out how we should both remain within the company and maintain some semblance of decorum. I’m sorry, that came out a bit messy.”

“Divorce doesn’t bring out the best in people,” Maya observes.

“We’re not married,” Pepper corrects automatically. “Well, we try. I try. I try to be generous to him.” And as an afterthought she adds: “Without being condescending.”

“So he’s staying with the company?”

“Stark Industries firing Tony Stark? Absolutely not. He is basically a research division all to himself within R&D.”

“You need him then?”

“I can’t fire him. Not now. Not yet. And by the time my leadership is sufficiently consolidated, we’ll probably be on awkwardly speaking terms again.”

“You make it sound like you’re playing the game of thrones.”

“It’s like that in a way. I’m in charge for as long as I can provide them with sufficient spoils.”

“You’re terrifying, you know that?”

“But you are the evil genius between us,” Pepper laughs. Maya pales. “Coffee, then?” Pepper asks.

“Yes.” Maya says, “Of course. Shall we get your car?”

Pepper carries the conversation from there, mostly oblivious to Maya’s silence. When she drops Maya off at her home, Pepper asks, “Hey would you have time to watch Harry Potter on, say, next week Saturday? Not this one, but the week after?”

“I’ll check -okay? I’ll let you know.” They hug, somewhat impractically in their front seats. Maya gets out of the car. Pepper convinces herself it´s only decent to wait until Maya actually enters her home before leaving.

 

Back at the cottage, Pepper sets herself to the task of deciphering the legalese, glowing with the warmth of Maya’s presence lingering in her mind. She wants to end her relationship with Tony formally, but needs him on board within her company’s research division. The question she is trying to get her lawyer to solve is how to retain Tony in a position to do what he does best -innovate- and her in a position to do what she does best -management- and as far out of each other’s way as they can manage. Because if running into your ex is awkward on your street, it must be so much worse if you’re managing the company he founded. When she takes a break to treat herself to a fresh mug of coffee, she sends Maya a text.  
Thanks for another lovely afternoon. I look forward to introducing you to Harry Potter. Have a nice weekend! Hug, Pepper.

 

There is no reply on Saturday evening and none on Sunday. She debates sending another text, but eventually refrains. When Sarah comes in at 8 on Monday morning, they go over her week’s agenda.

“Have you decided who you’re bringing to the fundraiser on Friday?” asks Sarah. Pepper sighs.

“No, still not. I’m half-way considering just going by myself.”

“That would be a statement,” Sarah says, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s decided then.” Pepper says with a big grin. “Book me in on Thursday evening to get my dress fitted, please.”

Sarah peers over the schedule: “I’ll let them know you’re not bringing a plus-one. And Thursday evening… That should be doable.”

“Very well. I’m off to the meeting. Mustn’t be late.” Sarah shakes her head a little while Pepper dashes off to her first meeting for the day.

 

On Tuesday, stuck in a particularly boring dickmeasuring contest of a board meeting, she sends Maya another message.

Bamboo is definitely more interesting than corporate politics. Hope you’re well. Pepper

On Wednesday, she gets a reply: The Saturday after next works. 8 o’clock at your place? She sends back a text to confirm that yes, 8 pm is perfect.

 

Friday evening, Pepper dresses up, puts on her make-up and does her hair. She returns to the living room, where she checks the contents of her purse. She realises she is feeling a little nervous about going alone. Before, she’d go with Tony. Come to think of, she smiles to herself, before she was with Tony, she went with Tony as his PA. She checks the clock, waiting for the company driver to arrive. When the doorbell rings, she checks her reflection one last time, grabs her purse and goes out. She locks the door behind herself, and gets into the car. She recognises the driver.

“Ah, Peter, good to see you.”

Good evening, madam. May I say you look lovely?”

“Thank you, that’s very nice of you.” Peter starts the engine, and as he drives of he asks, “So there is a charity thing?”.

“Yes, a veteran’s charity fundraiser.” she replies. She is not really in the mood to talk and looks out the window. Peter takes the hint and keeps quiet for the rest of the route. After they arrive, she tips him handsomely for it. “Will you be picking me up tonight?” 

“Yes, madam. Do you have a time in mind?”

“One AM?”

“Excellent. I’ll be there. If there’s a change in the plans, the organisers have my number.”

She is greeted at the entrance by the host of the party, who ushers her inside. 

“Welcome, Ms. Potts, we’re very happy to see you.”

“Thank you,” she says politely.

“I’d like to introduce you to Amanda, she’ll show you to your table. Unless you need something else first?”

“No, it’s fine.” She extends her hand to the young woman: “Pleased to meet you, Amanda. I’m Ms. Potts. Please lead the way.”

The young woman seems a little flustered, so Pepper just smiles as pleasantly as she can while she is being walked over to her seat. Her usher introduces her to the other people at her table. She makes some small talk, and finds that three women and four men at her table are all single. She politely deflects any question that might lead to inquiries into her love life as well as bait regarding what her position within Stark Industries will be in the future. She catches herself mentally preparing a text to Maya, trying to spin the event so that it sounds funny rather than sad. But it is rude to text at the table, so she diverts the conversation to the auction catalogue. She looks at a watch that would have been nice for Phil, and feels a stab of pain for missing him. She sets sights on a set of earrings and a weird vase. The earrings might make a good gift for Maya. She allows herself to spin out the fantasy of handing over the small box, the delight on Maya’s face, and the anticipation of unwrapping it… Her fantasy is interrupted by the man on her left, who asks: “So, what has you smiling like that?”

“Oh, I was imagining what I might do with my auction win.” 

“What are you bidding on?” he asks.

“The earrings and a vase. And you?”

“Oh, I was undecided before just now.” he smiles. “Have we met?” he asks.

“I’m not sure, I’m Ms. Potts”, she says and extends her hand.

“Ah, I’m pretty sure I would remember having met you.”

She smiles her, “Be courteous, polite and have a plan to kill everyone in the room” smile as she thinks, you would have walked right past me when I was in the secretary pool. And then, because his tie is ugly and she’s feeling uncharitable, unless to stare at my chest. They exchange pleasantries until Pepper sees another acquaintance and excuses herself. To her astonishment, her acquaintances introduces her to yet another boring man. She is relieved when the actual dinner starts.

 

Pepper leaves the party a little after one o'clock with the vase. Deep in her purse lies a small box with a pair of earrings -it’s her own damn money she thinks obstinately, and she can do with it whatever she wants. Late enough to be inconspicuous, early enough to get a decent night's sleep. She looks at her auction win, the ugliest vase that ever was. She takes her phone out of her purse and writes a message to Maya:

"I entered the charity auction and won the ugliest vase I could find. For some reason, it provoked a bidding war between me and a gentleman." She catches herself: there is no practical reason for her to inform Maya of any of this. She looks out the window over the sleeping city as the realisation washes over her: I have a crush her. I’m in charge of a major corporation and I have a crush. This is ridiculous, she tells herself, I’ve only just met her and I want her to like me, I want to tell her about my day, and I want to ask her how hers was. This is no way for an adult to act. So instead, she texts Natasha “Charity function was a success, they met their fundraising goal. I bought a vase I can smash when I have another one of those board meetings. Are we on for Tuesday?” On Saturday, she does put on her bamboo shirt, which does not help avoiding thinking of Maya.

 

On Monday afternoon Tony bursts into Pepper’s office, with Sara at his heels, holding up a pile of papers. Pepper looks up and notices the letterhead of her lawyer. He must have received the papers she had her lawyer draw up that separate their relationship and stakes in Stark Industries. On second look, she notices his eyes are shining. Ah, he is upset over the relationship, then. He finally understood she meant it when she packed her suitcase. As calmly as she can manage, she waves Sara out, mouthing ‘it’s okay’. Looking at her ex, she says as frostily as she can manage, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, bursting in like this?” "Pepper, please, we never used to need paperwork to get along."

"Possibly we didn't then. But we do now. God knows I need clear, explicit boundaries when it comes to you."

"I thought we cared about each other- that you cared about me!” 

Pepper bites her lip and looks away. "I care for you. I want you to be able to do what you do best." she says softly, "I think you’ll want to throw yourself in your work. You’re good at it. I know that. It’s more than what you do, it’s what you are. I mean, we’re not a couple anymore. This relationship is over. That doesn’t mean you can’t work here anymore -and I think we’re all better with you on board in R&D. But that does mean we need to make sure we both understand what the rules of engagement are. Since you’re not given to think about these things, I am trying to do right by us both. The paperwork contains a division of work between us. Don’t make me think that can’t happen." When she looks up, she can see Tony shrinking. She takes in a breath, recognising the shift in the atmosphere almost physically.

"Okay, I'll sign it," he says. She is certain there are tears in his eyes, and she is equally certain he'll deny crying on his deathbed, so she doesn't remark on them.

"And in time, you’ll find someone else. Find a girl who's not allergic to strawberries," she says, "I know how much you like them."

"Yeah," he says with a sad smile, "I'm not sure I want to have them anymore."

"Oh, you will," she says. "Now leave before you do something stupid."

He looks as if he wants to argue, but he catches himself, exhales, and turns to leave the room. "Goodbye, Pepper," he says in the door opening.

"Goodbye Tony."

 

After he leaves, she opens a stack of random papers on her desk, looks at them without really reading them. With a sigh, she gets up to get up cup of tea when her phone rings. Mentally resigning herself to another session of legalese, she checks the display and is relieved to see Maya’s name show up. 

“Hi this is Pepper!” she says. 

“Hi, it’s Maya. Is this a good time?”

“As good a time as any. How are you?” 

“Fine, yourself?”

“Good. I hate lawyers, though.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

A person who asks me if I want to talk about it. How is she real? Pepper thinks to herself. How are you so wonderfully careful with my heart? She replies more airily than she feels.“Not really. Maybe later. I’ll figure it out.” 

“I was hoping your offer for Saturday still stands.”

“Absolutely. Of course!” Pepper smiles, knowing full well she has no other plans. 

“We could do that movie night we talked about. Elliott is going to my parents for the weekend.”

“That is the best idea I’ve heard all week, and that’s saying something in this building.”

“Okay, you pick one, and I pick one. Dinner first?”

“Take out or cooking?”

“Can you cook?” Maya asks.

“Take out it is.”

“Your place at six?”

“I’ll be counting down.” 

“See you then,” Maya says, and Pepper can imagine her smile.

“Bye,” Pepper says softly.

“Bye.” Maya replies and hangs up.

Pepper immediately calls her secretary. “Sara? I need an extra round of housekeeping on Friday.”

“I’ll see to it, madam.”

“Thank you.”


	3. Because I prayed / this word: / I want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our girls get very much together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is taken from Anne Carson’s translation of Sappho’s poetry, “If not, winter”. Because Anne Carson is fucking brilliant and makes me cry. 
> 
> Standard disclaimers (1) US-picked and lovingly beta’ed by the inimitable Fightyourdragon. Remaining faults are mine. (2) not canon, no money, just fun.

On Saturday, Pepper is frantic with nerves. Since she acknowledged to herself she was falling for Maya, her brain went in overdrive trying to figure out what to do next. She was delighted Maya called to watch a movie together. She realises that free time is a scarce commodity for a single mother, so spending a free evening together signals that she means something to Maya. Also, Maya’s friendship is a wonderful thing to have, she tells herself, no need to rush and risk it for something that might never happen. On the other hand, Maya seems interested in her too, if she isn’t deceiving herself. And so the thought cycle starts again: I want her as a friend, I want her as a lover. Pepper looks up the take out menus, makes sure there is enough cash in the house to pay the delivery and checks if the cleaning lady has also done the top shelves -she has- before berating herself that this is Maya, not a cleaning inspection. She changes her outfit from a skirt and a blouse to a dress. An hour later she decides a dress feels too formal, and changes into her jeans and a shirt, the bamboo one again.

 

Almost on the dot of eight o’clock, the doorbell rings. Pepper opens the door and greets Maya with a hug. After she lets go, she can still feel her skin glow where Maya has touched her.

“How are you?” Pepper asks.

“Excellent. You?”

“All the better for seeing you. Let’s get you inside.” 

Maya follows her into the apartment.

“Okay, how much do you want me to explain about the story beforehand?” Pepper asks.

“Does a film meant for 12 years and older require an introduction?”

“Probably not,” Pepper admits, “But I’m not sure how comfortable you are with wizarding worlds.”

“I’ll manage. And if not, I have a sadly discontinued British series in my bag.”

“The Hour?”

“No, ‘A Bit of Fry and Laurie’.”

Pepper smiles and slides The Sorcerer’s Stone in the dvd player and mutes the tv to miss the anti-piracy warnings.

“Care for a drink?”

“Yes. What are you having?”

“I was having tea, but there are other options.”

“Ginger ale?”

“Coming up. Popcorn?”

“Yes please. Salted, if you have it.” Maya follows Pepper into the kitchen and looks impressed. “Do you like to cook?”

“Are you kidding? The kitchen just came with the building. I live on restaurants and take-out. I don’t really enjoy cooking. The microwave is the thing I use most.”

“I thought it looked ridiculously pristine.”

Pepper coughs, “I have a housekeeper.”

“Good call.”

Pepper puts the popcorn bag in the microwave and sets the timer, then takes two bottles of ginger ale from the refrigerator. “Glass or straw?”

“Straw!”

When the popcorn is done, they sit down next to each other on the couch with the bowl in the middle. Maya’s hand slips closer to hers, and Pepper leans into Maya, she never wants to stop feeling Maya’s warmth or smelling her scent.

 

“That was fun.” Maya says softly as the credits run. She makes no move to get up from the couch, but rather leans in closer. The empty popcorn bowl is on the table. 

“Yes it is. The next parts get darker, though.”  
“Hmmm hmmm.” Pepper decides it is now or never. She takes a deep breath and turns over, leaning in. She notices Maya’s eyes darkening to almost black. Maya tilts her head closer and then Pepper closes the last inch between them and kisses her. First on her lips, then gently licking over them, meeting Maya’s tongue. She tastes of ginger ale and her lips are a little salty and underneath it is an intoxicating softness. Maya strokes her back and Pepper is surprised how loudly that makes her moan. Encouraged, Maya pulls her over her lap, so that Pepper straddles her. Pepper arches her spine, breaking the kiss, to lean into the touch.

“It’s a bit embarrassing, but I’m not really sure how to do this,” Pepper admits timidly.

“Well, let’s start with this,” Maya says, unbuttoning Pepper’s blouse. “If you’re uncomfortable or if it feels wrong just say so. I try to pay attention, but occasionally that’s not enough.” Maya slips the blouse off of her, traces the outline of Pepper’s bra with her finger before unhooking it and dropping it on the floor. “Now, let’s see how this works for you,” and she covers one nipple with her hand and licks the other one before covering it with her mouth and sucking on it. Pepper moans delightedly, her breathing speeding up. 

“If you were a man,” Pepper grins, “I’d tell you to get on with it and fuck me already.”

“Really? You’d skip the best part? I guess no one has done this properly for you then.” Maya smiles. “If you get off me for a second I can undress,” Maya says. Pepper gets up from Maya’s lap and stretches out on the couch. She drinks in the sight of Maya takes off her own shirt, bra and pants, keeping her underpants on. Maya waves her hand, “Could you sit up for me?” and shoves a pillow behind Pepper’s back, so Pepper is almost perched on the edge of the couch. She kneels in front of Pepper, and opens the fly of her jeans. Pepper automatically lifts her hips, and Maya strips her of her jeans and underpants. 

“See, here is the thing,” Maya says softly, “no two women are exactly the same.” She dips her head, “Sure, women have labia majora,” she licks two broad strokes, “and labia minora,” she licks again, “and for course a clit,” and she touches Pepper’s clit with the tip of her tongue. She circles her tongue around Pepper’s clit, finding what makes her breathing go ragged. “The trick is to find out what this particular woman,” broad lick over her clit, “wants exactly.” She closes her mouth over Pepper’s clit and sucks gently. Pepper forgets how to breathe for a few moments. Maya straightens up, slips two fingers inside and a thumb over her clit. She establishes a rhythm, carefully feeling for Pepper’s thrusts. She licks Pepper’s nipples, sucking them, kisses her neck and collarbone, and returns to her breast, never losing her rhythm until she feels Pepper climaxing on her fingers. She withdraws them gently.

“How’s this for a start?” she asks.

Pepper laughs breathlessly. “Where have you been all my life?”

“Perfecting my technique,” Maya laughs, and kisses her. “Practicing for this moment.”  
“Can I do this to you?”

“I’m more partial to licking, but you’re welcome to try and change my mind.”

“Really?”

Maya nods stretches on the couch, inviting Pepper to straddle her lap. Pepper climbs over her and starts kissing her, moving from her mouth to her neck and then to on to nibble Maya’s earlobes.

“Is this even allowed?” Pepper asks.

“Not in every state, I believe.” 

Pepper smiles, outlining the border between the cream and pink of Maya’s nipple, feeling the difference in texture before covering one with her mouth and the other with her hand. She feels the nipples getting hard under her tongue and between her fingers. She explores the subtle differences in texture: skin over a rib, between the ribs, she tries what happens when she licks softly or in broad strokes, working down over Maya’s stomach. “I feel a bit weird, I have no idea how to do this.”

“Relax, don’t think too much. You’re doing wonderfully.”

Pepper gathers her courage and dips her head. Remembering Maya’s earlier words, she tries licking her vulva, varying speed and pressure to find out what gets the best response. When she establishes a rhythm, she feels tension building up in Maya’s muscles. She increases pressure when Maya starts canting her hips forward until Maya comes, the tension dissolving instantly in her orgasm. Pepper tastes the moisture with more attention, and catches herself thinking, ‘I could definitely get used to this”. 

“You’re rather good at this,” Maya says, voice heavy with satisfaction. She moves over so Pepper can ply her body next to her. 

“You’re not much of a screamer, are you?”

“Not much need when you read my body so well.” Pepper slides up next to Maya, spooning against her. Maya kisses the back of her head, and runs her fingers through her hair.

“I haven’t felt this good in a long time,” Pepper muses.

“And this is only the first,” Maya says. “I mean, it is, isn’t it? To you? for us? As in the first time of many.”

“If you’ll have me,”Pepper mutters. “I run a multinational, I’m a terrible homemaker and I’ve been told I have a temper.”

“So that’s why they call you Pepper. Well, I’m no fairytale princess either. But I think you’re a marvel.”

Pepper burrows against her lover. “Can we stay here a bit longer before we go to bed? Just tell me when you’re getting uncomfortable.”

Maya kisses her hair. “Of course.” She focuses on the rhythm of Pepper’s breathing, and they fall asleep together.

 

Maya wakes up first, unaccustomed to the way the light filters through the curtains. She tries to hold as still so as not to wake up Pepper. Sure enough, that seems to wake up Pepper without trying. Pepper blinks and smiles drowsily: “hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

They are quiet for a moment, each unsure of what is supposed to come next.

“Breakfast?” Pepper offers.

“Is it pancakes?”

“I’m not sure, but we can only find out by looking.”

Maya closes her eyes, and smiles somewhere between desperation and amusement: “Schroedinger’s pancakes.”

“No, I mean, I’m not sure I have what we need to make pancakes.” Maya opens her mouth, closes it again, and starts laughing. “What?” Pepper says, “no one ever taught me! Stop laughing!” as she starts to giggle too.

“Make me.” Maya says defiantly. Pepper considers her options for a split second, then tumbles over Maya and kisses her. Maya rolls over, yelps and surrenders to the kissing rather than breakfast. She lets her hands drift softly over Maya’s back and is rewarded with a soft groan. Pepper lets go long enough to mutter “Breakfast can wait” and return to kissing her. 

 

Later it turns out there is no flour in the house, but there is cereal and milk and coffee so they make due. After they finish breakfast, Pepper gets a bit restless. As they put their cups and dishes into the dishwasher, she tries to get a grip on what comes next: 

“Would you like.. Do you have to... I mean.”

Maya looks at her, puzzled for a moment: “Yes, I have to pick up Elliot in a bit, and no, I don’t want to go, yes I would like to do all of this really soon.”

Pepper lets out a sigh of relief: “Thank you. Can I call you? Soon?”

“I think it’s better if I call you. I do have a kid to look after.”

“But you will call me, right?”

“Of course.”

With that, Maya returns to the bedroom to see if she’s forgotten anything before realising she didn’t bring anything. Her mobile is still on the table in the living room. She returns to the living room, puts the phone into her pocket and looks to Pepper. She wraps her arms around Pepper and they kiss again.

“Do you have to go?” 

“No. I think this is the better offer,” Maya smiles. She takes a deep breath, steels herself and lets go of Pepper. “No, unfortunately, I’m going to be an adult.” She kisses the tip of Pepper’s nose. “Now, let go off me, or I can’t call you tonight.” Pepper pouts for a bit and lets go of her and sees her to the door. They kiss some more, stretching the seconds they have between them, before Maya opens the door. Pepper gets into her car, starts the engine and drives off. Maya waves after her for as long as she can see it. She waits a few moments longer to make sure there is absolutely no way she can still see Maya. As she turns around to go back inside, she hears her phone ring. She breaks into a run to pick up her phone, not even taking the time to check the name in the display.

“Hi darling, thank you for a wonderful time.”

“Maya!”

“I’m sorry, I just miss you already.’

“Miss you too.”


End file.
